


Don't risk it

by accidentallybroken



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, Gender Dysphoria, I'm Sorry, MTF character, Trans Female Character, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 22:42:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6726343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/accidentallybroken/pseuds/accidentallybroken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Because I'm not a nice enough person to give her a resolution.</p></blockquote>





	Don't risk it

     For some people, it's hard to suppress what you feel. For Bailey, it was second nature. Don't look at your body and wish it was less straight, less flat. Don't wear dresses, stick with pants. No one will accept you if you give in to what you want, what you feel. It was too dangerous to risk acceptance for comfort. He had stopped thinking about ever doing anything about it. It wasn't worth it. 

     But he wanted it so bad, for a different body and different clothes and different pronouns. He didn't want to be Bailey, the boy who wore pants and had a flat chest. He wanted to be someone else, he just wasn't sure how. 

    It was too dangerous to risk looks and whispers and lost friends. He had seen it happen to the FTM boy, Zeke. He had seen everything change for him the day he cut his hair and wore a chest binder and asked to be called he. Bailey didn't want that to happen to him. He didn't know if he could deal with it. He always thought as himself as he, because he knew that something could slip if he let anything go. It was like being freezing cold in a room with a warm fire. If you let yourself approach the flames even a little bit, you won't stop, just keep going, just a little more. Bailey was afraid of fire, even if he wanted it at the same time. He didn't want to get burned.

     So he just kept suppressing it, like ignoring it would make it go away. He didn't want to feel it, because it was complicated and uncomfortable, to face what he felt when he could just hide. So he kept it hidden, because he didn't know any other way to deal with it. 

     When you face something, you accept that it's real and you're scared of it, and Bailey wasn't willing to do that. 

**Author's Note:**

> Because I'm not a nice enough person to give her a resolution.


End file.
